


Lead Me Through the Dark

by angelofdarkness217



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Blindness, F/F, F/M, Ghost Marco Bott, M/M, Permanent Injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofdarkness217/pseuds/angelofdarkness217
Summary: Armin Arlert was blinded on the last expedition, yet Commander Erwin insists on keeping him in the Scouts for his strategic abilities. Between figuring out how to get around, memorizing people by their voices, and coping with the struggles of blindness, Armin finds the most unusual helping hand he could have ever imagined.Tags will be added as the story continues!





	1. Rain

"All troops retreat! There are  _too_  many titans ahead, and I will  _not_ accept anymore casualties!" Commander Erwin shouted, calculating eyes watching as the soldiers turned their horses the other way, seeming thankful to not have been ordered to engage the titans ahead.

Unlike they had planned, the path had not been able to be cleared by the front flanks, as they had been wiped out by a large horde of titans. Rain was pouring down, drenching everyone to the bone- it was cold, and winter was approaching fast with the passing weeks, leading to many soldiers getting sick and not being able to perform their duties properly. No doubt that all this freezing rain would result in even more sick soldiers after the expedition was over; today had been a failure, nothing to show for their efforts but an eventual list of soldiers who's bodies couldn't even be retrieved for their loved ones. 

Captain Levi pulled his flare gun from the holster on his saddle and loaded a cartridge into it, before firing it into the air- a red smoke trail blazed across the gray sky, and soon, everyone else was doing the same, shooting their red flares to warn the rear flanks to turn back and head for the wall.

"Captain! Aberrants headed this way- a 7 meter and a 15 meter!" Jean called out. 

"Do not engage." Levi said calmly. "We'll lose them."

"But sir- " Jean protested.

"I said do not engage, Kirschtein." The man growled.

Jean went silent and gave a nod to his superior, but couldn't help glancing worriedly over his shoulder at the two titans jogging at about 45 meters behind them. He watched as the creatures stopped and jumped up, swatting at the air in a strange manner, but then he burst out laughing as he realized that they had no interest in  _them_ at all.

"Are you kidding me?" He chuckled. "They're after the  _flare_  smoke?"

"Kind of like a couple of little kids chasing after birds, don't you think?" Levi mused. "We should count ourselves lucky they aren't actually after  _us_."

Jean nodded, glancing back once again to make sure that the titans were still preoccupied by the smoke from the flares- they were still going at it, jumping up and down like children and reaching for the smoke in the sky. Odd how such terrifying creatures could be so funny at a time like this; perhaps it was the mix of stress and panic or the mere idea of something so large acting like something that was normally so small and familiar. That was why titans were so terrifying, they were familiar, far too familiar.   
Horse's hooves on the soping wet ground and the occasional thunder roll were the only sounds that stood out as they rode- perhaps they should have taken the weather as sign to not carry out their mission today, but the Scouting Legion never held up on account of a little rain. The horses still had enough energy to keep going for miles, but as soon as they reached the halfway point back to the wall, they would stop and allow the horses to recoup for a little while. Without the horses, none of these missions would be possible, so it was of utter importance to make sure that they were taken care of. 

Nearly an hour had passed as they rode, the rain only pounding harder and the thunder getting louder, practically right above them. Some of the horses were slowing down against their rider's wishes, including the Commander's and Captain Levi's.  A deafening crack of thunder sounded as they were riding past a few trees, but lightning struck the one closest to the soldiers, causing the small tree to snap and fall over in front of Armin's horse. The horse whinnied and reared up in panic, causing Armin to have to hold onto the horn of his saddle to even stay on.

"Woah Opal, calm down, girl!" Armin exclaimed, trying to get his horse to calm, however his efforts seemed fruitless as Opal just reared up again and managed to shake her rider off.

Armin landed on the muddy ground, his horse's hooves stomping over him- he didn't have any time to roll out of the way as Opal's hooves harshly connected with his temple, chest, and hip when she backed up. Another crack of thunder sent the horse forward again, her hoof connecting with Armin's other temple and effectively knocking him unconscious as she ran away.

"Armin!" Eren called out, as he had been the closest to witness what had happened. "Armin, get up! Hurry and get up!"

When Armin did not move, Eren's heart clenched in his chest- was Armin....? He quickly got off his horse and knelt down to check his friend's pulse, breathing a sigh of relief when he felt the blood still pumping through the blond's veins.

"Eren!" Jean yelled. "Is he dead?"

"No! He's just unconscious!" The brunet replied.

Jean rode his horse closer to the two, looking down at Armin's unconscious body.

"Hoist him up, I'll carry him on Buchwald." He said, his voice holding a bit of a nasally sound to it- it seemed that Jean would be one of the people that would be sick by the time they got back to the wall. "Hurry up, Jaeger, we don't have all day."

Eren ignored Jean's usual snide use of his last name, picking Armin up and hauling him up to Jean, where the two toned teen wrapped an arm around the blond's waist and used his other hand to pull Armin's leg over his saddle, holding the shorter boy against his chest. Armin's head was resting at the crook of Jean's neck, blood running down the side of his face from getting hit by Opal's hooves.

"Got him?" Eren asked as he climbed back onto his own horse.

"Yeah, now let's hurry up, the other's won't hesitate to leave us behind." Jean said, holding Armin against him with one hand and using the other to grasp Buchwald's reins.

Eren gave a worried glance at his friend's unconscious being, before reluctantly getting his horse into a gallop to catch up with the others, Jean following not far behind.

Jean was actually quite thankful to have Armin's body against his- not for sexual reasons, but because it kept him warm. He was thankful for being able to share some body heat with the blond, knowing it would benefit Armin, since he was unconscious, and himself, since he was pretty sure that he was starting to get the beginnings of a cold from all this freezing rain. Armin was shivering in his unconscious state, so Jean pulled his cloak around them both, tenting in the small amount of heat between them- he wasn't about to let his comrade die of hypothermia.

**X X X X X**

As soon as they reached the halfway point back to the wall, they stopped in a deserted town that had been scouted for any titans beforehand, and luckily for them, there wasn't a single titan to be found. The troops all settled in a few of the abandoned houses, warming up around the fireplaces and taking inventory of which soldiers hadn't made it back with them. 23 lives had been claimed by the titans, and 1 from a lightning strike. Jean set Armin on the kitchen table of the house he and some of the troops had taken shelter in, cleaning up the blood from the blond's wounds and bandaging them. He tried to gently wake Armin, but all he got in return was a small moan and more shivers.

"How is he?" Eren asked, coming over to the table to check on his friend.

"Still breathing....." Jean sighed. "Won't wake up though...he's out pretty good."

Eren bit his lip and reached out, softly brushing some of Armin's hair from his face- he didn't say anything, but Jean knew he was worried about the blond.

"Hey.....I know you're worried about your boyfriend and all, but I'm sure he'll be okay." Jean said quietly.

"Boyfriend?" Eren mumbled, glancing at the two toned teen. "Armin's not my boyfriend."

"Really? Everyone thinks you two are not-so-secretly together." Jean replied.

"Well we're not, Armin is my best friend- practically my brother. We've been friends since we were toddlers, and before Mikasa came along, he was my  _only_ friend." Eren said quietly, taking Armin's cold hand in his. "Yeah, I care about him a lot, but only in a platonic way. I'm not really even into guys anyway, I mean, I'd rather find a strong girl like Sasha."

"What about Mikasa?" Jean asked. "She's the strongest girl there is."

"Yeah, but that's just  _too_ strong, she's my sister anyway, and she's too protective of me, I could never handle a relationship with someone like that." Eren sighed.

"Wait.....she's your sister?" Jean asked, raising a brow. "Geeze, and all this time I had assumed you guys were together back in training."

"Ew,  _no_ , just the thought of that makes my skin crawl." The brunet shuddered. "Don't get me wrong, I mean, Mikasa is pretty and all, but no. Just no."

There was a brief silence between the two before Jean spoke up.

"Hey...this is the first time we've had a real conversation, isn't it?" He mumbled. 

"Yeah....I think you're right." Eren replied, the corner of his mouth turning up in a slight smile. "I didn't think that was possible."

Jean rolled his eyes and chuckled. 

"Yeah, well...don't get used to it." He said. 

"Why?" Eren asked. "I mean, this is kind of a breakthrough for us, isn't it?" 

Jean bit his lip and went quiet, nodding in agreement after a moment. Both teens stood there in silence, looking down at Armin's unconscious body, Eren still holding the blond's hand and looking worried. Jean took off his cloak and draped it over Armin's torso, hoping that it would help to keep him warm despite the fabric being wet- the unconscious teen's shivering almost completely stopped after a few minutes, reassuring him that Armin would be okay.

**X X X X X**

The faint sounds of people talking woke Armin, however he kept his eyes closed and only listened. His mind was too hazy to figure out who was speaking, but he heard them saying something about Opal and how Armin would be upset when he found out.

**_'Find out what?'_** Armin wondered.  ** _'Why are they being so secretive? My body aches all over....what happened?'_**

Armin realized after several minutes, that he was fading in and out of consciousness- the voices had stopped and the room was quiet, and he wondered if the people had left. By now, he was able to stay conscious and he slowly opened his eyes, trying to figure out where he was.

"What the....?" He mumbled, looking around.

"Armin! You're awake!" Eren exclaimed, getting up from his chair.

The blond turned his head in the direction of his friend's voice, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Eren...? Where are you?" He asked. "It's pitched black in here......"

Eren froze and looked at Mikasa, who returned the same worried expression. 

"Armin, it's......it's the middle of the day." Mikasa said quietly.

Armin went quiet and brought a hand up, feeling over his face to tell if maybe there was something over his eyes, but he felt nothing there to obstruct his view. 

"What......what's going on?" He asked, sitting up slowly. 

"Armin, be careful." Mikasa said softly. "Don't exert yourself, you have some pretty bad bruising on your hip and chest..."

"Yeah......I can feel that." Armin mumbled, still running his hands over his face to check for anything that could be obstructing his eyes.

"Armin.....can you really not see anything?" Eren asked. 

The blond shook his head and let his hands rest in his lap. 

"Is there something in my eyes?" He asked quietly, a heaviness settling in his stomach. 

Mikasa bit her lip and leaned in, turning Armin's chin to face her- her breath caught in her throat when she noticed that his pupils looked cloudy and very cataract-like. 

"What? What is it?" Armin asked, panic evident in his voice. 

Eren licked his lips to wet them, unsure of how to go about saying it, but he knew the tension would destroy his friend quicker than the news would. 

"Armin.......you're blind..."

 


	2. Relearning the Senses

A slender hand knocked at the heavy wooden door of Commander Erwin's office, and there was a brief moment of silence before a voice answered the knock.

"Enter." Erwin called, his voice as calm and soft as usual when he wasn't barking out orders.

Mikasa opened the door, Armin holding onto her arm with his head down as she carefully led him inside the office.

"Armin, it's good to see you're awake." The Commander said, giving a warm smile. "I've heard about your fall from your horse and the concussion you suffered from it- "

"It's more than just a concussion, sir....." Mikasa said, cutting off her superior as she helped Armin to sit down in the chair in front of the man's desk. 

Erwin was a bit miffed by her sudden outburst, but was open to listening to what she had to say.

"More than a concussion?" He asked, raising a brow. "How  _much_ more?"

The Asian girl reached a hand under Armin's chin and turned it up so that Erwin could see his face.

"He's blind, sir." She said quietly.

Armin could only sit there as he heard the sound of Erwin walking around the desk to see his face close up. He felt Mikasa's fingers under his chin replaced with his Commander's larger, warmer fingers, which turned his head slowly from side to side in what was probably an attempt to see past the cloudiness covering his pupils. The teen had tear tracks staining his cheeks, since he had spent maybe the last two hours crying in Eren and Mikasa's arms before coming here.

"You can't see anything at all?" Erwin asked. "No shapes, no colours, no light?"

Armin shook his head, biting his lip for a moment.

"...no." he uttered just above a whisper, afraid to break down again, especially in front of the Commander. 

"Have you been to visit Hange?" The man asked.

"Not yet....." Mikasa answered for Armin, seeing how the boy's eyes were welling up with tears again despite his best efforts to hold it back.

"It may be best to visit Hange before making any clear cut decisions." Erwin said. "If Hange can't fix his blindness, then we'll have no choice but to release Armin from the Scouts."

"No!" Armin protested, looking up toward his Commander's voice. "Please don't- I have nowhere to go! Eren and Mikasa are all I have!"

The blind teen's voice cracked as he pleaded with his superior, tears spilling down his cheeks unashamedly now, as he could no longer hold them back. He was terrified, shaking, reaching up and somehow managing to clutch the sleeve of Erwin's jacket.

" _Please_ sir, there has to be something I can do." He whimpered.

Mikasa couldn't help but tear up a little as well, suddenly realizing that this may very well be the last time that she and Eren would ever see Armin- for all she knew, they might even send him to the underground, where it's cheaper to just let him slowly waste away in the dark, crime riddled streets down there. Maybe worse could happen if he were sent down there, he could easily end up in a brothel and become a plaything for the sick bastards there, unable to defend himself or run away. She couldn't let that happen, not to Armin, sweet, smart, beautiful Armin- she knew full well that Armin was beautiful, and not in a masculine sense; the poor boy had a very lean, curvy figure that even some of the girls back in training were jealous of. He'd be very desirable to those perverts in the underground. 

Erwin furrowed his thick brows, feeling a pang of guilt sting in his heart- this boy was completely defenseless, and while Erwin wasn't the fatherly type, he almost considered Armin to be like his son, especially with how often he had the small blond in his office to help him plot the formation charts for each upcoming expedition, or even just having idle, intellectual chats. By far, Armin was certainly the most intelligent person for his age, that Erwin had ever met- scratch that, Armin was more intelligent than most adults and higher officials too, truly a force to be reckoned with.

The man didn't show too much emotion, but he felt bad for Armin. Bad, because he couldn't think of anything that Armin would be able to do to contribute to the Scouts anymore, bad because he knew the boy's chances of survival on the streets were slim to none, and bad because the closest thing that Armin had to family would not be able to leave the Scouts with him to take care of him.

"I'll see what I can do." Erwin said softly, reaching down and gently patting the boy's head. "I don't want to see you go either."

Mikasa looked a bit relieved to hear that, placing a hand on Armin's shoulder. 

"Come on, Armin, this isn't set in stone yet, Hange might be able to help." She said softly.

Armin turned his head toward his friend's voice, hand letting go of Erwin's sleeve to take hold of the hand on his shoulder.

"Okay...." he said quietly.

**X X X X X**

"I'm sorry, Armin, there's just nothing I can do." Hange sighed, setting her hand on the blond's knee. 

After several tests and experiments, nothing could be done for Armin's blindness, and all he was left with was a rancid chemical taste in his mouth and a series of small dots of blood under his eyes were he'd been injected with an "ocular medicine", as Hange had called it. He had a feeling it was just water and antibiotics, but his eyes were sore from being injected through his lower lids so many times.

"That's it?" He asked quietly. "I'm just blind forever?" 

"Unfortunately that's the way it seems, Armin." Hange replied. "I'm sorry, I've tried my best- I won't give up though, I'll keep trying to find a cure for you."

".....thank you, Hange." Armin mumbled, his heart sinking.

"In the meantime I would suggest that you try to relearn your senses." The scientist said. "Most of your senses up until now have relied on pairing with sight, so things such as hearing and touch will have to be focused on and exercised."

Mikasa looked curious about this, but understood it to a degree.

"By exercising his senses, how would you suggest he do that?" She asked. 

"Simple." Hange said. "He needs to do things as he normally does, but without his sight. Say for example, remembering someone by their voice- most people are able to do this to start off with, but when sight is taken out of the equation, you'd be surprised by how easy it is to forget which which voice belongs to who. I would suggest playing a guessing game with him and your friends so that he can re-familiarize himself with their voices- just have some normal conversations and have him try to guess who is speaking, it's a simple exercise."

"....what about touch?" Armin asked.   
"Touch will be a bit trickier, because not only will you have to familiarize yourself with surfaces and textures you know, but you will also have to learn to find your way around and memorize those patterns- like making a map in your head." Hange explained. 

"Heh, no more books for me, I guess...." the blond muttered dryly. 

"Actually, if you feel up to it, I can teach you to read Braille." Hange offered. 

"Braille?" Armin asked, raising a brow curiously.

"Yes, Braille." She replied. "It's a form of reading for the blind, where a series of raised bumps on a page can be felt with the fingertips. Each letter has its own series of bumps, which can be very tricky to learn, but with practice, you'll be able to read."

"That  _does_ sound pretty difficult." Mikasa mumbled. 

"I'll do it." Armin said without hesitation. "If there's any way it can help me to still remain useful to the Scouts, then I'll do whatever it takes." 

"Alright!" Hange said cheerfully. "We can begin your Braille lessons next week!"

"Good. I want to remain useful." Armin mumbled.

"Oh and before I forget, you'll need your white cane." The woman added. "It's the cane used for blind people to find their way around and to avoid obstacles or objects in their way."

"A white cane?" Armin asked, clearly hesitant. "Why is it white?"

"It's white to let others know that you are blind." She explained. "I don't have one for you at the moment, but when I go with the Commander to our meeting in the interior, I'll be sure to get one for you, as well as a few Braille books."

"Hange, why are you doing all of this for me?" Armin asked quietly.

"Armin, your strategies and quick thinking have saved our asses more than once, I'd say we all owe you a lot for that." Hange replied. "You didn't give up on us, so we're not going to give up on you- it's the Scouting Legion way."

**X X X X X**

"Okay, okay- can you guess who I am?" Connie asked. 

Armin furrowed his brows in concentration, trying to decipher who's voice he was hearing .

"Ummm.......Jean?" He guessed. 

"Oh  _come on_!" Jean exclaimed. "You really think that pipsqueak sounds like  _me_?!"

"Oh uh, s-sorry, that was Connie's voice again, wasn't it?" Armin asked sheepishly. 

"Yeah, but it's okay." Connie replied. "It's just going to take some time to learn everyone's voices again."

"I'm sorry guys, I keep getting your voices mixed up. I can easily distinguish Sasha's voice from Mikasa's, but it's harder to distinguish all the  _guy's_  voices." Armin mumbled. 

"How about mine?" Asked a voice from the end of the table.

"Captain Levi, sir!" Armin squeaked, shooting up from his chair and saluting in the direction of the voice.

"At ease." Levi said, taking a seat at the end of the table. "It seems like you had no trouble recognizing  _my_  voice."

"Ah, yes sir...." Armin mumbled, slowly sitting back down in his seat. "You have a unique voice- easier to distinguish."

"Unique, huh?" The man asked, giving an amused hum. "I suppose that could be considered a compliment. How's the auditory exercises going?" 

"Well, aside from getting Eren, Jean, and Connie's voices mixed up, I'd say it's going okay..." Armin replied quietly. 

"Hey, don't put yourself down, it's only the first day of this." Sasha said reassuringly.

"Yeah, listen to Sasha, she knows it's going to take you a lot of practice." Jean agreed. "And I'll try not to get mad in the future if you mistake my voice with someone else's or vice versa." 

"It's okay....Jean?" Armin guessed. 

"There you go." Jean chuckled. "My words gave me away, didn't they?"

"Pretty much." Armin agreed, giving a small smile. 

"Well, as fun as this game is, it's getting late." Levi said. "It's time you kids went to bed- lanterns out in 15, understood?"

"Yes sir." Eren replied, the rest of the cadets nodding in agreement.

**X X X X X**

After saying goodnight to everyone, Eren helped Armin get back to his room.

"Hahaha~ watch it, that's a corner." Eren chuckled, trying to guide his friend in the right direction.

"Pfft hahaha~ sorry." Armin laughed, bracing his hand against the wall so he wouldn't run into another corner. "Geeze, it probably feels like you're trying to lead around a drunk person."

"Yeah, I guess it kind of does." The brunet agreed, finally leading Armin to his room and helping him over to sit on his bed. 

Eren got out pajamas for his blind friend and set them on the bed beside him, before unbuttoning Armin's shirt.

"Eren.....?" The blond mumbled, flinching slightly as he felt the buttons of his shirt being undone.

"Relax, I'm just helping you get ready for bed." Eren said quietly. "I'm your best friend, not some creep."

"I know...." Armin sighed. "It's just.......it's pathetic that I can't even get myself dressed."

"Hey, I don't mind helping you- besides, you'll figure it out on your own eventually." Eren said reassuringly, as he helped take off Armin's shirt. 

The blond turned his head to the side, blushing slightly as he felt Eren's hands travel down to his pants, undoing them.

"Lift your hips." Eren said, waiting for Armin to do so, before slipping the pants off of him. 

Armin remained quiet as his friend dressed him in his pajamas, feeling utterly worthless. Out of all the simple things he could do, getting dressed was one that shouldn't require help, unless he was completely unable to move on his own- he  _could_ move on his own, but it still didn't help the fact that he was unable to complete such a simple task. He was already beginning to resign himself to the fact that he would be cast out of the Scouts before the month was over, and more than likely end up dead in some alley in the slums. 

"Armin?" Eren said softly.

"Huh?" Armin realized he had zoned out for a moment, and probably missed something his friend had said. 

"I asked if you wanted any water before you go to bed." The brunet replied. 

"Oh, no thanks, I'll be okay." Armin mumbled.

"Are you sure?" Eren asked, brows furrowed in worry. "You seemed out of it a second ago."

"Really, I'm okay....just tired." Armin reassured. "But um.....can I touch you? You know, feel your facial features and stuff? I can't see your face anymore, but I want to memorize it by feel."

Eren reached out and gently took the blond's hands, guiding them up to his face.

"Here, this should help." He said quietly.

Armin smiled softly and slowly ran his fingertips over Eren's face, running from his cheeks to the small hairs of his eyebrows and the creases of his eyelids to his nose. He trailed the pads of his fingers over the brunet's cupid's bow, following over the soft curves of his lips to his chin and jaw, before finding his ears and finally hair- he chuckled and ran his fingers through the thick, dark brown tresses.

"Hey, hey, you're gonna mess it up." Eren playfully complained.

"Oh, like your hair isn't a wild mess to begin with?~" Armin teased, letting his hands come to rest on either side of the titan shifter's neck.

Eren rolled his eyes and laughed a little.

"Yeah, I know, I already get crap about it from Captain Levi." He said, unable to help smiling a bit.

"Thank you...." Armin said quietly after a moment. "For helping me."

"You don't have to thank me, I would've helped you anyway." Eren replied.

"Yeah, but....you've been helping me my whole life- " the blond started.

"And I don't regret a minute of it." Eren cut him off. "You're not useless, Armin. I don't care how many times I have to pick you up when you fall, or how many times I have to dress and undress you or bathe you- you're my best friend, and I wouldn't give that up for the world. You were my only friend until Mikasa came along, practically my brother....I don't ever want to hear you say you think you're useless or a burden, because you're not. I'm not going to let you feel that way about yourself, you're far too important to me and Mikasa and everyone else; we all care about you, Armin."

The blind teen went quiet and nodded.

"Okay...." he said in almost a whisper, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to Eren's cheek- or at least an attempt to.

Eren's eyes widened slightly as Armin's lips met his kind of crookedly, and a blush blazed its way across his face in a matter of seconds. Armin pulled away quickly, a blush of his own lighting his face. 

"Crap, that was your lips, wasn't it?!" He asked.

"It's okay, I know you were going for my cheek." Eren mumbled. 

"Guess you can say you've had your first kiss now." Armin said, trying to lighten things up.

"Yeah." Eren agreed. "But if anybody asks, I'll tell them I kissed a girl back in training."

"You know they'll ask who it was." Armin chuckled.

"Then.....I'll tell them it was Mina." Eren said.

"Good cover, I know you actually had a bit of a crush on her too.~" The blond teased.

"Sh-shut up, she was pretty...and nice." Eren mumbled.

"Yeah.......anyway, you better go to bed before Captain Levi gets angry." Armin sighed. "You can't be here to help me if he has you running laps all day."

"Jean can take care of you if I'm not around to- or Connie." The brunet said. "But yeah, I should go to bed.....sleep well, Armin."

Armin felt around on the bed to pull the sheets back and get under them, before laying down against his pillow. He heard Eren walk across the room and blow out the flame of the lantern, before heading to the door.

"Goodnight, Eren." The blond said quietly.

"Goodnight, Armin." Eren replied, before closing the door and heading to his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I've probably introduced you to some things you didn't know, or didn't know the names of.
> 
> First thing: Braille.   
> If you don't know what Braille is, Hange has briefly described it for you in this chapter- there will be a little more expansion on how Braille works in future chapters when Armin learns to read Braille.
> 
> Second thing: White Cane.  
> As described, a White Cane is what blind people use to navigate around. There's different names and types of White Canes, but the name and type described in this chapter is the most common one. The cane is white, because a white cane (with a red tip) is an international sign of being blind.
> 
> Third thing: Cupid's bow.   
> The Cupid's bow is the indentation of skin between your nose and upper lip.


	3. Accidents Happen

Armin squirmed in his bed, legs crossed with his hands between them, squeezing his dick tightly. The poor blond had to pee badly for the past hour and didn't know if it was the middle of the night or early morning. He had been listening carefully for any footsteps to pass by his door so he could speak up and ask for them to take him to the bathroom- no such luck. He was getting to the point where he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom, even if someone came in to help him at this exact second.

A sudden thought occurred to the blond.

**_There should be a vase on the bedside table, right?! I can just use that!_ **

Armin sat up with a whine and reached over, feeling for the side table. Once he found the edge of the side table, he felt around for the vase- his fingers touched something, then.... _CRASH!_ Clouded eyes widened at the sound.

_**Oh shit! No! No, no, no, no! Oh please no! Fuuuuuck!**  
_

Tears pricked Armin's eyes as he squirmed even more- he was on the brink, the least he could do at this point was make it easier to clean up the mess. The blond moved to the edge of the bed and slid onto the cold stone floor. He couldn't hold it any longer, the warm liquid seeping through his pants and beginning to form a puddle on the floor. Tears spilled down his cheeks in embarrassment and only now did he finally hear someone's footsteps nearing his room- the door opened slowly.

"Armin? Are you- " Connie stopped mid sentence as he noticed the broken vase and Armin sitting on the floor in a puddle, the faint glow of sunlight lighting the sky outside lit the room just enough to see. The shaven headed boy entered the room and closed the door behind him.

Armin cried even more as he now had someone as witness to his accident. He sniffled pathetically and kept his head turned down as though looking at the floor, at least that's what he would be doing if he could see.

"Armin, what happened?" Connie asked softly, crouching down beside the crying boy, but avoiding the puddle. Judging by the blond's bright red, tear stained cheeks, he could tell that the poor boy was more than embarrassed, and he had a general idea of what happened, but didn't understand why there was a broken vase on the floor.

"I-I tried to wait for someone to come by...." Armin sniffled, trembling under Connie's gaze. He didn't need to see to know that Connie was looking at him in pity. "I remembered the vase on the table, so I tried to find it, but I ended up knocking it over and......"

"Hey, it's okay....let's get you cleaned up." the shaven headed boy said softly. "Nobody has to know about this."

Armin nodded sullenly and Connie helped him stand up. He wanted to just die right now- stop being a burden to everyone. They all might as well have been taking care of a two year old with an extensive vocabulary.

"Here, just put your hands on my shoulders for balance- I'll get these clothes off of you." Connie said, guiding the blind boy's hands to his shoulders.

Armin nodded, keeping his hands on his friend's shoulders to stay balanced. He felt Connie peel the wet pajama pants and underwear off of him, then move up to take the shirt off as well.

**_This is the first step on the road to death....all my friends will pity me and try to make me feel better, but their words will only comfort me for so long. Soon I'll be disbanded from the Scouts, and I'll waste away in some alley in Trost...unless they send me somewhere else...not that it'll matter, I won't know where I am anyway. We could defeat the titans today, but it wouldn't matter to me....I'll never get to see any of the things I'd dreamed of...my life is gone._ **

After a while, Armin realized that he was being washed with a wet cloth- he must have spaced out for quite some time, because by now, Connie had already cleaned up Armin's mess and was currently wiping the blond down with a warm, wet cloth. The cloth was pulled away from Armin's skin, only to be dipped into a bucket of clean water with a little bit of soap, wrung out, then pressed over the spot it was on previously to continue the "wash".

"Connie....." Armin mumbled.

The other boy paused what he was doing and looked up at Armin.

"Yeah?" he said, letting Armin know he had his attention.

"........what do I do now?" the blond asked quietly.

Connie might have normally been oblivious to some things, but he knew that Armin was asking a much deeper question, and it made his heart wrench painfully. He knew full well the kinds of things Armin talked about all the time and all the hopes and dreams the boy had- it was all gone for him now. Connie wanted to provide an answer, but he was at just as much of a loss as Armin.

"We'll figure something out...." he finally replied after a few moments.

Armin stood there in silence as Connie finished cleaning him up, but tears began to well up in his eyes once more and roll down his cheeks. Connie paused again as he felt a wet drop land on his wrist- he looked up to see Armin crying again. Silently, Connie set down the cloth and stood up, pulling the naked boy into an embrace. He gently rubbed Armin's back, whispering soft words of reassurance as his fingers traced over the dips and curves of the boy's spine in a comforting manner. 

Honestly, Connie was amazed that Armin wasn't dead with how little meat was on his bones- it wasn't uncommon for the cadets to be thin and borderline anorexic, but even as thin and petite as Connie was himself, Armin didn't even need to raise his arms up for his ribs to show. He let the boy cry against his shoulder, let him cry out some of the pain, even if he knew that it would build back up again probably as soon as the day was over. This was hell for Armin, complete and utter hell.

**X X X X X**  

**_How did it end up like this? Am I really that scared and desperate for comfort?_ **

Armin didn't know what had spurred him to do it, but regardless, it didn't change the fact that he had. His hands found Connie's cheeks and his lips met the others in a needy fashion- it was brief and he could feel how Connie had tensed up, but something in him needed it. When he pulled away, he immediately turned his face down as though to look at the floor in shame.

It had just been after Connie had dressed him in fresh clothes, that they had sat at the edge of Armin's bed and talked quietly. The shaven headed boy tried his best to cheer Armin up, telling small jokes and making up fantastical stories to entertain his friend. He was surprised to say the least, finding Armin's hands cupping his cheeks and their lips pressed together shortly after.

It certainly hadn't been the first time Connie had been kissed, he'd kissed Sasha plenty of times in a 'friends with benefits' sort of way. He liked Sasha, he really did- he wanted an official relationship with her badly, but he was afraid that she wouldn't want that.

Seeing the shameful look in Armin's clouded eyes, he couldn't help but feel his heart sink. Armin was such a great guy, such a great friend, it pained him to see the blond like this. Connie was a heterosexual male. He'd never once thought about kissing another guy or, god forbid, fucking (or being fucked by) one. Still....what could it hurt to indulge Armin in a bit of kissing? It didn't feel any different than kissing Sasha, a girl, and Armin  _was_  quite effeminate looking. No one would know- just like Armin's accident, these things wouldn't leave this room.

The shaven headed boy tilted Armin's chin up and leaned in, capturing his lips in a tender kiss. Armin was surprised by the action, but closed his eyes and melted into the it, their lips moving in a slow, sensual rhythm. Connie gently pushed Armin down on the bed, the two laying together, kissing for what seemed like hours, until Connie pulled away slightly.

"Better?" He asked softly.

Armin nodded, blushing.

"Connie, you don't have to do this." The blond mumbled.

"It's okay, Armin, it's just kissing..." Connie replied. "I'm not into guys, but a little kissing isn't going to hurt anything. It's not like we're going any further than that."

"Yeah, but I don't want you feeling like you're obligated to do this." He said quietly.

"Armin, there's no obligation, I really don't mind." Connie said softly. "I want to ease your mind over this as best I can, and if a little make out once in a while makes you feel better, then I've got no problem with it, so long as nobody finds out."

Armin smiled slightly and slowly reached out in search of Connie's hand, taking it once he found it.

"No homo, right?" He chuckled.

"No homo." Connie laughed.

**X X X X X**

"Mikasa, don't treat me like a baby..." Armin mumbled, cheeks pink in embarrassment.

"Armin, you can't feed yourself, you keep missing your bowl." Mikasa sighed, still holding up a spoonful of porridge.

The blond sat there, hesitant to comply. He knew Mikasa was right, but he felt more stupid and useless with the inability to even feed himself.

"Mikasa, maybe you should lay off on feeding him." Eren said quietly. "You're just embarrassing him."

"Eren, he can't see the bowl!" Mikasa snapped.

Eren got up, grabbing the girl by her scarf.

"All you're doing is making him feel _worse!_ " He yelled.

The dining hall went quiet, all eyes on the Shiganshina trio's table. Everyone was surprised to see Eren standing up to Mikasa for once, usually only seeing him angrily ignore her or put up a small fuss, but this was different, this was in Armin's defense.

"That's enough." Levi said, getting up and walking over to the trio's table.

He placed a hand on Armin's shoulder, giving a hard stare to Eren and Mikasa.

"Neither of you are helping him by arguing." He muttered. "Armin, come with me."

"Captain?" Armin looked up in the direction of Levi's voice.

Levi helped him up and picked up Armin's bowl, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders and guiding him out of the dining hall. He led the boy to his office and set the bowl down on the desk, helping Armin into a chair.

"Captain Levi?" Armin said quietly.

"I know you feel helpless." Levi said, pulling up another chair beside the boy and sitting down in it. "It may seem embarrassing at times, not being able to do things for yourself.....but it isn't a weakness."

Armin clutched the arms of the chair, biting his lip as he gave his full attention to the man.

"When I broke my ankle saving Eren, I was forced to stay off my feet as often as possible." Levi continued. "I wasn't allowed to train or clean, and Hange insisted on reading to me and making me tea. Point is, I was frustrated with it and felt as helpless as a kid.....but in the end, I was grateful; I came out of it stronger and had a better bond with those that helped me."

"I don't mean to burst your bubble, but being blind is a lot different than breaking your ankle." Armin mumbled.

"Perhaps the injury is different, but the meaning is still the same." Levi said, picking up the bowl.

The blond was about to protest, but as soon as he opened his mouth, a spoonful of porridge was shoved in it. He closed his eyes defeatedly and swallowed the watered down porridge. Levi fed the boy in silence, making sure he ate every bit in the bowl, and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief.

Armin sat there quietly afterward, clouded eyes cast downward and cheeks tinged pink.

"Oi...your friends are just trying to take care of you." Levi said, a hint of tenderness in his voice. "They love you, and they'll do anything to make you happy. I'm sure all they want is to know that you appreciate everything they're doing for you, because I know I'd like to see you smiling again just like they would. You're a blissful ray of sunshine to them in this cruel world, Armin, but even when the sun is covered by clouds, it still illuminates the sky..."

Levi got up and helped Armin up as well, taking his hand.

"Come on, bedtime brat." He said, carefully leading the boy to the bedroom that was connected to his office.

He pushed Armin down on the bed and sat down at the edge of it, looking down at the blond. He saw the cloudiness of Armin's eyes, and his heart went out to the boy- Armin had suffered a lot lately.

"Captain, why am I in your bed?" Armin asked quietly.

"I'm going to keep watch on you tonight." Levi replied. "I'm sure you'd also like a break from your friends constantly worrying over you and fighting with each other."

The boy nodded slightly.

"Thank you, Captain Levi..." He mumbled.

"Scoot over, I need room to sleep too." Levi said, taking off his cravat.

Armin scooted over and Levi climbed into bed, to which Armin immediately cuddled up to him out of habit from when he and Eren used to sleep in each others beds back in training. He paused as he realized what he was doing.

"S-sorry, Captain.....is this okay?" He asked quietly.

"It's fine." Levi mumbled. "If you're comfortable, then I don't mind. Now, go to sleep."

"Goodnight, Captain Levi..." The boy whispered, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight, brat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, just so you guys know, Connie isn't developing any feelings for Armin and Armin isn't developing any feelings for him. Connie is merely being a good friend and trying his best to make Armin feel better.
> 
> Also, Levi is just being Levi- caring when he wants to be, but not exactly the most affectionate person. He's just as worried about Armin as everyone else, but more for Eren and Mikasa's sake. He knows how important Armin is to them, and he wants Armin to be able to stay. Needless to say, Levi cares a lot about these kids, and whether he'd like to admit it or not, he does have a soft spot for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Short chapter, I know, but hang in there, it gets better.


End file.
